26 October, 2014

The Dropkick: WWE Hell in a Cell 2014 - Pre Show

WWE Hell in a Cell 2014 pay-per-view will come at you live on October 28th from the American Airlines Centre in Dallas, Texas, or if you are a WWE Network Subscriber you can get it for just $9.99 as they seem so keen to remind you every week. It's almost as if they've still not hit their estimated quota and feel the need to spit out "$9.99" so much that it becomes a forced meme... I'm looking at you Michael Cole and JBL!

In this new feature for the site I will be doing a pre-show write up of the feuds and rivalries going into each pay-per-view. I'll try to be as unbiased as I can, however with WWE being as ridiculous as it is, that's likely not going to happen.

Goldust and Stardust (c) vs. The Usos (for the WWE Tag Team Championship)

Ever since Goldust and Stardust won the WWE Tag Team Titles from The Uso’s - Jimmy and Jay at Night of Champions they've been on a series of loses. Being put into six man tag matches with whatever other heel (Bad guy) is available and fed to the Uso’s and whatever face (Good guy) is suddenly their best friend for the night.

The team of Goldust and Stardust came about when Goldust and his real life brother (and tag team partner), Cody Rhodes were on a losing streak, losing matches on both, Smackdown and Raw. Cody then tried to find a partner for Goldust and ultimately failed. Cody Rhodes then left the WWE, however a new superstar by the name of Stardust appeared and joined up with Goldust, ever since then the two have been teaming up and entertaining us all.

The Usos’ enacted their rematch clause after losing the titles to Goldust and Stardust, after Night of Champions however they won via disqualification causing them to win the match, but not regain the WWE Tag Team Titles. The Uso's previously held the tag team titles for a total of two hundred and two days making their title reign the fifth longest in WWE's history. Then again, it's not hard when they feuded with Luke Harper and Eric Rowan for several weeks.

Will Hell in a Cell be the night that the Uso’s regain their WWE Tag Team Titles? Bringing yet another boring and bland reign as champions? Commentators JBL and Michael Cole may call them “Uso Crazy”, but I call them anything but. 

Dolph Ziggler (c) vs.  Cesaro – 2 out of 3 Falls match (for the WWE Intercontinental Championship)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Cesaro; The King of Swing, The Swiss Superman, The King of Wrestling Oh wait you can't call yourself that... How about King of Sports Entertainment instead? No matter what he's called Cesaro is one of the most impressive and gifted superstars currently in the WWE has been reduced to feuding with whatever mid card champion doesn't have anything to do right now.

This time it is the Intercontinental Champion (IC): Dolph Ziggler, who won the title from The Miz at Summerslam only to trade the belt back and forth since Night of Champions. Since winning the title back on the Monday Night Raw following Night of Champions last month, he has had to fight Cesaro who won the chance to face Ziggler for the championship after winning a Battle Royal on Smackdown. He then lost the fight later on in the night, and then again on the next Monday Night Raw, but still has a title shot for the pay-per-view?

Bad News Barrett, the previous holder of the IC title before The Miz, won via a Battle Royal, but had the belt vacated from him after a real injury caused by Jack Swagger on an episode of Smackdown. I can only hope that after the match this Sunday between Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler we hear some bad news - or in this case good news, of Barrett's return to reclaim the gold from whoever emerges as the victor. 

Both Ziggler and Cesaro are over with the fans and they always put on great matches so no matter who wins It's sure to be a great show. 

Sheamus (c) vs. The Miz w/ Damien Mizdow (for the WWE United States Championship)

There's only one thing to say about The Miz and Sheamus's feud. Damien f*ckin' Mizdow is gold. When The Miz came back from Hollywood after filming his latest "hit movie", The Marine 4, he decided to get a stunt double in the form of Damien Sandow. Since then Damien 'Mizdow' has been the main attraction for this feud as he stands ringside during The Miz's matches and acts out what's happening in the ring.

Sheamus has had a lengthy run with the US title ever since he won it in a twenty man battle royal, defeating the then-Shield-member, Dean Ambrose. He has gone on to defend the title against Cesaro who has now moved on to fight for the Intercontinental Championship instead.

Whether it be Mizdow holding a headlock on no one outside the ring, or falling over as The Miz is knocked of his feet; Mizdow is the best thing about this feud. Last Monday Night Raw, The Miz decided to replace himself with Damien Mizdow in a six man tag match against The Uso's and Sheamus, where Mizdow got the pin on Sheamus. I hope that this happens again this Sunday at Hell in a Cell, where Mizdow beats Sheamus and gets the title instead of The Miz. He deserves it.

This just goes to show how boring Sheamus and The Miz's feud is when I and the rest of the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) want to see a "Kayfabe" stunt double win the title, instead of the two actual rivals. Come on WWE, step up your game.

Big Show vs. Rusev (America vs. Russia)

One one side is Murica', represented by the most patriotic superstar ever... The Big Show? No matter, because on the other side is Russia and unstoppable force of.... the Bulgarian Brute Rusev? Does WWE not see the problem with this or is the red, white and blue blood flowing through their creative team so strong that they've turned a blind eye to this feud?

As someone not from the United States, the whole concept of American Pride is lost on me. To me this feud just shows how immature and childish America can be starting with when Big Show tore down the Russian Flag and had to go on "Sensitivity Training" as a result. Then, weeks later he's back to his usual antics sitting on the Titantron looking smug as an American flag falls behind Rusev instead of the normal Russian Flag Rusev and manager Lana were expecting.

This led to a hilarious moment when a "United States Marine" (No, not John Cena) hopped the barrier and went to attack Rusev only to receive a super kick and get knocked out. This feud started when Mark Henry failed to defeat Rusev in a number of matches, so his best friend the Big Show decided to fight for his honour, and of course, the honour of all of America.

I'm not going to lie, this feud bores me to no end. Despite this I don't want to see Rusev lose at Hell in a Cell, nor do I want to see Rusev be fed to John Cena so he can over some the odds for America.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella (the loser must become the winner's personal assistant for one month; if the loser does not comply, they will be forced to quit WWE)

Oh god. This feud. Unlike the Big Show and Rusev feud where I have some idea what's going on; in this I am completely lost. From what I remember at Summerslam, Brie Bella; was fired by Stephanie McMahon, only to come back to fight Stephanie, instead of suing her for the attack when she was in the crowd as a "fan".  At Summerslam Brie was about to win but her twin sister Nikki came in and attacked her, costing her the match.

They've had awful segments both backstage and in the ring where they called each other "Bitches" and Nikki told Brie that "She wished she died in the womb", whilst holding back laughter. Jerry Springer came to Monday Night Raw to try and help the sisters reconcile, at which point I imminently turned off Raw for the night.

There was a rumour going around the IWC that their match would be inside the Hell in a Cell which would have made this match about 100 times more interesting because as it is, I could care less about it.

AJ Lee (c) vs. Paige (for the WWE Diva’s Championship)

Paige; who d├ębuted on the main roster the Monday Night Raw after Wrestlemania 30 and defeated AJ Lee to become the youngest WWE Diva's champion had a lengthy title reign until AJ Lee came back during the Raw after Money in the Bank, defeating Paige to regain the title and sparking a strange and confusing feud between the two.

The two became "Best friends" where they had a healthy, competitive relationship which ended at WWE's best left forgotten pay-per-view Battleground, where AJ Lee defeated Paige and Nikki Bella (who gained a title shot after betraying her sister, Brie, and helping Stephanie) angering Paige. The two faced off again at Summerslam, at which Paige won the title back from AJ Lee and then lost the title once again at Night of Champions.

The two have had a weird slightly lesbian themed rivalry involving awkward moments between the two where AJ has kissed Paige's hand, stared into her eyes and told her that she loves her, in an attempt to make her feel uncomfortable. This is a Diva's feud that is actually interesting, at least it was when it was just based solely on their wrestling ability before Summerslam, however now it's getting uncomfortable to watch at some points. 

John Cena vs. Randy Orton – Hell in a Cell match (the Winner becomes the #1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Champion)

I hope you’re not getting tired of John Cena vs. Randy Orton because Hell in a Cell will be no different, as the two veterans of the business fight once again locked inside Hell in a Cell. This match came about after John Cena failed to defeat “Dean Ambrose in a Contract on a Pole match” on Monday Night Raw and as a result has to face the ‘Viper’, Randy Orton, in a losers match.

Since losing the WWE World Heavyweight Champion to Brock Lesnar at Summerslam in one of the most one-sided fights in WWE history. Then failing to win the title back at Night of Champions due to Seth Rollins intervening, the fifteen time World Champion has been after feuding with Dean Ambrose to see who would face Mr Money in the Bank, Seth Rollins at Hell in a Cell, which he would then lose and be given a match with Randy Orton instead.

Despite being the losers match, it is still one of the two main events at Hell in a Cell (the other being Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose inside Hell in a Cell) the winner of the match will go on to face the WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar which makes no sense at all. If this is a match between the losers then why would the winner get a title shot at the next pay-per-view? God dammit WWE.

Because of this, we can look forward to seeing either John Cena breaking Ric Flair's championship record of sixteen title wins, if he beats Lesnar. Or we will see Randy Orton winning, most likely due to the popularity and the viral spread of “RKO Outta nowhere” Vines that have plagued the internet recently.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins – Hell in a Cell match

What is there to say about the lunatic fringe; Dean Ambrose? Well, for a start he’s been gunning for former team mate Seth Rollins for over four months now. The two used to be part of the Shield, along with Roman Reigns; fighting the injustice that the Authority (Triple H, Randy Orton and Batista) commanded across the WWE. However, the night after the pay-per-view Payback, Seth Rollins betrayed his Shield brethren and joined the Authority causing Dean Ambrose to pledge his revenge which ended badly when Seth Rollins curb stomped him. His finishing move - Ambrose’s head through cinder blocks, caused him to be out of action for weeks until his return at Night of Champions.  

After the Shield parted ways, Seth Rollins has gone on to become Mr Money in the Bank. Winning a seven man Ladder Match to achieve a golden briefcase, which holds a contract to cash in a chance to face the current WWE World Heavyweight Champion at any time he wants. That sounds like he has the advantage, being able to pick his time to strike the unknowing champion however, the current WWE World Heavyweight Champion is not human; he is a beast going by the name Brock Lesnar.

Since winning the Money in the Bank Contract Dean Ambrose has stopped each and every attempt Seth Rollins has taken to cash in the contract, including interrupting a world title match between John Cena and Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions causing John Cena to be disqualified. Seth Rollins then curb stomped the injured Brock Lesnar and attempted to cash in the contract, but Dean Ambrose appeared and attacked Seth to stop him from taking advantage of Lesnar’s unconscious state, and become the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

John Cena and Dean Ambrose have been anxious to get back at Seth Rollins at Hell in a Cell. Triple H, in an attempt to cause the two to fight each other decided they would have a Contract on a Pole match to decide who will fight Seth Rollins, the loser would go on to fight Randy Orton instead. Dean Ambrose came out victorious and finally gets to face Seth Rollins, locked in a cell where he cannot possibly escape him.

What does the unstable Dean Ambrose have in store for Seth Rollins at Hell in a Cell? With a 20ft tall steel cage surrounding them one thing’s for sure; whatever it is, it’s going to hurt.

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