26 January, 2016

The Dropkick: WWE Royal Rumble 2016 - Whenever Roman Reigns is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Roman Reigns"?

The Dropkick makes it much anticipated return, now in written form as my partner on this website does not wish to waste his life anymore, like I do watching wrestling. This time we cover the 2016 WWE Royal Rumble, It's time for the Wrestlerock Rumble! 



Some match happened on the pre-show involving my boys! The Ascension facing The Dudley Boys, Darren Young and Damien Sandow, all losing to Mark Henry and Jack Swagger in a match where the winning team got placement in the actual Royal Rumble. I could not care less about this; the only interesting part was the crowd cheering for Sandow throughout the whole match.

We kicked off the Roman Rumble with what has to be the match of the night. Dean Ambrose versus Kevin Owens in a Last Man Standing match for the ‘prestigious’ Intercontinental Championship. These two went all out; brawling, weapon shots, cool spots involving smashing through the barricade. It ended with Owens going off the top rope, over the turnbuckle and through two tables stacked on top of one another like it was WWE 2k16. The best moment of the match however, was when Owens went over the Announcers desk, into Michael Cole and knocked him to the ground, then reached up to pull Cole’s glasses off his face with a massive smile. It was hilarious. Bully Owens Bully.


Even if you do not watch much wrestling, I would heavily endorse watching this match. It was great.

The next saw the The Usos lose against the BEST THING IN WWE RIGHT NOW; The New Day. It’s amazing that just a year ago, these three were getting boo’d by the entire arena, and now they are getting the most cheers out of anyone on the roster. Xavier Woods came out with a new ‘Francesca the Trombone’ and The New Day trash talked before the match as usual. Nothing noteworthy happened, but The Uso’s lost via New Day shenanigans and they retained their WWE Tag Team Championships. All is right in the world.

Kalisto beat Alberto Del Rio for the United States Championship in a very botchy match. These two messed up a lot, but it was still kind of enjoyable to watch. I don’t know why WWE had Kalisto win the Championship on RAW, only to lose it the next day back to Del Rio on Smackdown and then have him win it again here at the Rumble… at this rate Kalisto will be 15 time champion by the end of 2016.

Charlotte - sorry, RIC FLAIRS DAUGHTER - defeated Becky Lynch to retain her ‘Diva’s Championship’ URGH, I hate that word and all it stands for. Becky looked great and got an amazing reaction. The match was messed up though, I get what they are doing with Charlotte turning heel and acting like her father - cheating to win matches - but this was just dumb considering the story line set up well for Becky to win on the night. Ric Flair tried to suck out Becky Lynch’s soul when he kissed her to provide a distraction for Charlotte - I think that's how he stays youthful. At the end of the match Sasha Banks came out to a BIG pop; she kicked Becky out of the ring, laid out Charlotte with a Banks Statement, and left.

The main event saw ‘One vs. All’ as it was all about Roman Reigns and him defending his WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the Rumble, even to the point when AJ-FREAKING-STYLES! made his surprise WWE debut, the camera was stuck on Roman's face looking up the entrance ramp. God damn it Kevin Dunn, you RUINED one of the best moments there ever will be. The noise from the crowd as ‘I am…. Phenomenal’ appeared on the Titantron was almost deafening. I marked out so much, but that was partly because of the alcohol I was consuming.

AJ looked great out there- BUT NOT AS GOOD AS ROMAN as the camera focused on him the ENTIRE match, even to the point where the League of Nations (LON) and Vince McMahon came out and attacked Roman, putting him through the announcer’s table - the camera was focused on THEM and not the people in the ring… It was god damn disgraceful. The LON celebrated, with Rusev yelling “Hug me Boss” and hugging Vince McMahon before he stole one of the TV Monitors and carried it to the back. Roman was then escorted to the back, refusing a Stretcher as the announcers once again played up 'the odds’ Roman was facing in the Rumble.


A cool spot involved Kevin Owens coming down, still selling from that match earlier; he eliminated AJ Styles after yelling “Welcome to the WWE” which was funny and heart breaking at the same time. Ambrose came down and they brawled until SAMI ZAYN! appeared as a surprise entrant; Owens stared at him like he was going to murder Sami, they brawled and the crowd went nuts before Sami threw Owens out to a massive reaction.

Brock Lesnar killed the Wyatt family before shenanigans involving all three eliminated members of the Wyatt Family, they came back to the ring and threw Brock out; he just walked to the back. Roman came back down after never being eliminated and wrecked house until THE KING OF KINGS, THE CEREBRAL ASSASSIN, THE SEXY REBEL TRIPLE H came down as a ‘surprise’ entry at #30. Who did not see this coming? The final four saw Roman eliminate Sheamus, then Triple H threw Roman out leaving just Dean Ambrose and Triple H in the ring and of course, Triple H went over.

This Rumble was so much better than last year’s train wreck, and better than the abomination that was the 2014 Rumble. There was no Daniel Bryan to be seen anywhere and I’m convinced he will never wrestle again in WWE.  It was smart having Owens eliminate AJ, if it was Roman that did it the crowd would have turned on him more than they already were (he was getting a LOT of boos).

Triple H winning makes sense as part of the story. Roman beat him up at TLC, so now he came back and screwed him out of the title, this makes sense, but it isn't good as we are now going to see Roman Reigns vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania Star for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the year 2016.

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