10 February, 2016

XCOM 2’s Global Stats Are Pure Advent Propaganda

It doesn’t matter how many aliens we seem to blast, nor how many victories we win, the Speaker refuses to concede the point…

XCOM 2’s Global Stats Are Pure Advent Propaganda speaker

Clearly the Advent have entrenched themselves at developer Firaxis, because it doesn’t seem to matter how many aliens we’ve collectively killed, not one person has yet succesfuly completed a game, which is a complete lie.

XCOM 2’s statistics page collates hard numbers from players all over the globe and transforms them into pretty pictographs, such as the total number of enemies killed, which is almost fifty-four million at the time of writing.

XCOM 2’s Global Stats enemy kills

Considering only a little over four million XCOM soldiers have perished, it’s pretty good going. Those soldiers probably deserved it though; the common Advent Soldier is listed as the deadliest foe, having made 47% of all kills.

XCOM 2’s Global Stats soldier deaths

XCOM 2’s Global Stats deadliest enemy

There’s the seemingly baseless metric ‘Cost to repair’, claiming – I think – that over one billion dollars of environmental damage has been inflicted. As well as the kind of statistics that are presented to the player upon completion – and probably failure – of a game. How do I know you ask? Because I completed a game, I won, yesterday in fact and therefore I know with relative certainty that these statistics are at least partially incorrect.

Here’s my irrefutable proof, it may have only been on Rookie, but it’s a win I’m going to take. And yes that one loss hurt dearly.

XCOM 2’s victory screen stats

According to the Global Overview, not one game has been won on any difficulty, despite four-and-a-half million completed missions.

XCOM 2’s Global Stats wins

That my victory hasn’t been tallied isn’t surprising in the least, because I cancelled the upload after waiting for a connection to the servers for several minutes. There’s a chance that no one else, including other reviewers, have successfully managed to upload a victory. Or – and this is clearly more probable – I’m simply the best XCOM 2 player on the globe.

Check back soon for my review.

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