05 April, 2016

The Dropkick: WWE WrestleMania 32 2016 – WrestleMania Thirty-BOOOOO

It's time for the WWE's PPV of the year, the big one, it's WrestleMania! Coming live from Dallas Texas with a whopping 7 hours of 'quality' sports entertainment. Headlined with Roman Reigns vs. Triple H for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, in front of 94,000 rabid fans who all hate Roman... Yeah... This doesn't sound good to me either, and it wasn't! Read on and enjoy what is honestly one of the worst WrestleMania's to date.

We kicked off RomanMania with the kickoff show/pre show/you’re-not-good-enough-to-be-on-the-main-card-show with Kalisto successfully defending his United States Championship against Ryback. Yes. Ryback. I honestly don’t know the build up to this match, Kalisto has not been on RAW since winning the belt at the Royal Rumble, or if he has I don’t remember it - I don’t even know why these two are feuding.

Good thing John Cena raised the US Title’s prestige for most of 2015 for a no build-up feud to have a match on the Pre Show. Kalisto won in a quick match where most of the crowd was still gathering outside trying to get inside the stadium. The most interesting part of this match was Kalisto dressed like a reject from Lucha Underground; in a dragon costume.

I spent most of this match on Twitter, as it was rumoured that AT&T’s stadium WIFI went down-and so people could not verify their tickets on the machines to get inside. Awful.

Next up came ’10 Diva’s tag’ match which saw Team Total Divas; Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox and Eva Maria defeat Team B.A.D. & Blonde Lana, Naomi, Tamina, Emma and Summer Rae, also known as the ‘Let’s get all these women a WrestleMania pay day’. This was Lana’s in-ring debut and she threw some kicks about, that’s it. Emma worked most of the match for the heel team and Eva Marie was booed horrifically.

The finish saw Brie Bella make Naomi tap out to her Husband; Daniel Bryan’s ‘Yes Lock’ and after the match, Nikki Bella came down to celebrate with Team Total Diva’s and Brie. This is Brie’s retirement match as she is leaving WWE to start a family with her husband; who retired earlier this year.

After that, WWE Hall of Famer and former WWF Women’s Champion Lita unveiled the new first time ever; WWE WOMEN’S championship. This new belt has a new line of prestige, not linked to the awful history of the previous belts that were defended in Bra-and-Panties matches or mud wrestling... GOOD. The new title looks like the WWE World Heavyweight Championship; only with inverted colours.

WWE have FINALLY retired the term ‘Diva’ and the female wrestlers will now be known as SuperStars like the male roster.  The winner of tonight’s Triple Threat match for the Diva’s Championship will win this new title and be crowned the first ever champ.

The Uso’s defeated The Dudley Boys in a short and meaningless tag match that went for 5 minutes. The Usos’ were booed relentlessly by the crowd on every bit of offence they had. In the end they put the Dudley’s through two tables to thunderous boos and left. To start the show we’ve already had two Samoan’s booed out of the building, a hint of what’s to come at tonight’s Main Event.

The real show started with at least one third of the attendance still stuck outside the arena and in concessions. We opened up with the 7 man Ladder match for Kevin Owen’s Intercontinental Championship which saw ZACK RYDER WIN! That’s right, ZACK RYDER won the Intercontinental Championship, beating Kevin Owens, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Sin Cara, Stardust and The Miz.

The story of this match was Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens killing each other over and over- and a bunch of cool ladder spots. Stardust busted out the ‘Exo-Atmospheric-Starbird mark 2’; which was decorated in polka dots, much like his attire to pay tribute to his father and WWE Hall of Famer; Dusty Rhodes who passed away earlier this year.

This was honestly a good, fun match to open up with, and it was great to see Zack Ryder win after the past few years he’s been through.

This match really got my hopes up for the quality of the rest of the show, but unfortunately, it all went downhill from here….

So, after that good Ladder Match we saw WWE Veteran; Chris Jericho who is at his thirteenth WrestleMania and already has a long, successful career in the WWE, defeat AJ Styles; the ‘new kid’ in the WWE. Styles debuted at the Royal Rumble, with over 10+ years of wrestling experience behind him, including numerous titles in ROH, NJPW, TNA… The list goes on…

So please, tell me why did Jericho have to win this? I mean, it was an alright match with plenty of close falls and quality wrestling- but WHY did Christ Jericho have to win? It does nothing for AJ. Not only did Jericho beat AJ Styles at his first WrestleMania, he also kicked out of a WRESTLEMANIA STYLES CLASH. Do WWE just want to make this legitimately deadly finishing move a joke?

The crowd booed, people got angry and I’d like to think this is all part of Vince McMahon’s plan. I’m guessing he thought that, in his infinite wisdom - if he can just kill the Audience's mood, kill their voices and their will, then NO ONE will be left to boo his chosen one; Roman Reigns….

No, what am I saying…. There’s no way that’s true, right? I’m just a dumb smark that dislikes Reigns, there’s no way WWE are going out of their way to kill every white hot babyface in the company to make Reigns look good when he wins the big one at the ‘Showcase of the Immortals’ right? Yeah…

Anyway, next up the LEAGUE OF NATIONS BEAT THE NEW DAY CLEAN AS A WHISTLE. That’s right, The New Day who have been the best thing on Monday Night RAW and honestly the only reason to watch every week were beaten by a group of people that just 2 months ago were fed to Roman Reigns weekly, even losing a ‘Four on One Handicap Match’ to the Big Dog. The upside was that The New Day entered dressed like Super Sayan’s from Dragon Ball Z, after coming out of a giant box of Booty-O’s.

So yeah… ‘The Lads’ as they like to call themselves; won, luckily it wasn’t for the WWE Tag Team Titles for some reason? You’d think they would have a title match at WrestleMania? But no. So then The Lads talked some trash, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Stone Cold Steve Austin came down, beat them up and then dances with The New Day. It was alright, but still. F**k this ‘Mania so far.

So after that disappointment came another as Brock Lesnar defeated Dean Ambrose in a ‘Street Fight’ Match where no one bled, no one got hit with anything other than chair or kendo stick and all Brock did was suplex Dean a bunch and pin him after ONE F5.

This was a lot of people’s favourite match they were looking forward too, and it sucked! For weeks Dean kept coming out saying that ‘Brock will never be able to hold me down’ and ‘I’m unstoppable, I keep getting back up’ so then what happens? Brock throws him about and pins him after ONE F5 in the most PG friendly ‘Street Fight’ I’ve ever seen. Yet more disappointments…

So then, the next part of this train wreck was the Triple Threat Match for the new Women’s Championship match between Becky Lynch who came out with a generic, boring entrance with some smoke… that’s it… Sasha Banks; who came out with her cousin and new WWE Hall of Famer; THE D-O-DOUBLE G SNOOP DOG! And Raven Felix singing her theme song! She also came out with Eddie Gurrerro themed wrestling gear… it’s almost like they are building her up with all this to win? Maybe they hear all the cheers every week and how much the crowd love her? NOPE.

Charlotte won. Charlotte had a cool entrance too to be honest, coming down with a robe like her father and fireworks everywhere. They had a good match, in my opinion the best match on the show. But the wrong person won… Charlotte did not need to win this, but WWE are not going to let a Flair lose her first WrestleMania, or stop her from becoming the first ever WWE Women’s Champion.

It’s nice that WWE are trying to treat the women right now, they have meaningful story lines and the three women here actually had a ‘Main Event’ WrestleMania match with a long, built up promo package behind it. But it just comes off as petty honestly… They’ve had years of mistreating the ‘Divas’ giving them less than 5 minutes on RAW every week for a match and meaningless story lines, short PPV matches and calling them ‘Divas’ to begin with! But now they are suddenly like ‘Oh no, we’ve always hated the term Divas and this ‘Divas Revolution™’ led by Stephanie McMahon has changed the way we treat women in our industry! It’s too easy to see through this.

Enough with the ranting, or I’d be here all day. Charlotte won thanks to her father; Ric Flair holding Sasha back as Becky tapped out to the Figure Eight. Oh, poor Becky…. This is going to be your future for years to come…. But yeah, this was the best match of the night. More boos for Charlotte and the crowd were not happy again seeing Becky and Sasha lose…. Again…

After this, we had Shane McMahon vs. The Undertaker; inside Hell in a Cell; for control of the WWE; also if the Undertaker loses he will have to retire; also if Shane loses he does not get control of the Company and must give his father Vince the ‘key to the lockbox’ that holds something over Vince. You’d think with all the steaks going into this match and how important it is, it would be the Main Event, right? Nope.

So, the long winded and complicated storyline boils down to this. Shane McMahon returned and was all “WWE sucks now with the Authority in control, your ratings are dropping, people are getting injured, WWE is going to fail if Vince/Stephanie/Triple H remain in power” So what happens? Shane loses. That’s right, they’ve spent over a month building up that is Shane won, then WWE would change for the better and if not then it’s going to fail with the current power in charge. Why did Shane lose then? Isn’t that poor booking and makes no sense in terms of storytelling, or even basic 5th grade logic?

This match was eh…. Nothing much happened except for the two big spots; the first being Shane hitting the ‘Coast to Coast’ diving dropkick across the ring, and the other was him jumping off the TOP OF HELL IN A CELL and crashing through the announce table below.

I have no more words for this, again like my issues with the Women’s division I could go on with rants about this for hours. I’ll drop it now. The match was alright, nothing special. Nothing interesting came out of it - just like everything at this WrestleMania.

Bumped up from the pre-show was the 3rd annual; Battle Royal for the André the Giant Memorial Trophy which saw ‘BIG BANTER’ BARON CORBIN win it! That’s right; Baron Corbin made his main roster debut at WrestleMania and won a Battle Royal! When he debuted over a year ago, I could not stand this man, but he’s grown on me immensely. He’s improved dramatically in the ring, and his heel persona of ‘Indie Killer’ is phenomenal, I just hope that he remains this good on the Main Roster as this is his call up.
The Battle Royal itself was nothing special, various jobbers thrown in there to fill space and get a Mania payday including my boy’s; The Ascension and Tyler Breeze! All of who got thrown out quickly. Shaq made an appearance! You read that right; Shaquille O'Neal made a surprise appearance and was eliminated alongside Big Show. Apparently he bumped Tommy Dreamer off the card. Ha.

After this The Rock came down after some cheerleaders danced around for a bit. The Rock came out with a flamethrower and set fire to his name like a bad pyromaniac and then announced that the attendance was 108,713 people, beating the long standing record in the WWE. This number is of course kayfabe’d and the actual attendance was round 94,000 which itself is impressive as it beats the OLD kayfabe’d attendance of WrestleMania 3 which sat at 93,173.

The Rock was interrupted by the Wyatt Family, and then Rock buried them all calling them names, calling them fat and that they are all related through incest, then challenged them to a match- which he won in 6 SECONDS after Rock Bottom’ing Erick Rowan and pinning him. The Wyatt Family came to attack him, but BRAPADOOO; John Cena ran down for the save, they hit their finisher’s and stood tall.

This. Segment. Sucked. They killed the little credibility the Wyatt’s still had and it seemingly went on forever.

Okay, so…. It’s time to talk about the Main Event; the thing that is supposed to highlight this 7 HOUR PPV at the biggest WrestleMania of all time. Triple H vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship….

First out was the World Champ; Triple H because F**k tradition. Haitch had a weird, almost Mad Max styled entrance with people with skull masks holding the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and his wife; Stephanie McMahon dressed like a dominatrix on top of a podium screaming about how the WWE Universe has no hope and they should bow down to the authority. She was right; we had no hope as out came Roman Rei-BOOOOoooOOoooOOOOOOO!

Roman Re-BOOOooOOOOOoooooOOooOOO!

I said, Roman R-BOOoooOOoOOOOOooooOOOO!

*Arena mic’s are audibly turned down*

Roman Reigns! The Big Dog, the Juggernaut, the Sexy Samoan Bad Ass was out next into sea of boos. Sorry Vince, you killed their spirits by making every baby face and likable character lose clean, you killed their voices by having them boo your awful booking and closed minded, pettiness. But the one thing you could not kill was 94,000 people booing your chosen one, at the Biggest WrestleMania of all time.

I mean SERIOUSLY, this was a train wreck from start to finish. Roman came out and was just buried with boos; any offence he met was met with more boos and could not help but laugh. Every hit Triple H made was met with cheers, and people shouting out more jeers at Roman such as “Ro-man Sucks” loudly throughout the entire arena.

The crowd quickly got bored and began to hijack this awful Main Event, chanting for NXT’s newest signee; Shinsuke Nakamura, Sami Zayn with “Ole” chants, American Alpha, Bayley, Enzo Amore and more. They did not care for anything in this match. The ONE time they popped was when Roman accidentally speared Steph, in what I can only imagine was a last ditch effort to get them to cheer Roman, which they did! For all of 2 seconds before they realised they still hated him and continued to boo him.

Roman cocked his fist and the crowd booed, Roman missed and took a pedigree which got a thunderous applause, until Roman kicked out. At the end of the match Haitch went to hit him with his Sledgehammer, Roman ducked, spear and 1-2-3 BOOoooOoOOooOOoOOOoo! You’re winner and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion was met with the loudest boos I’ve ever heard….

All I can say, is this is the absolute WORST WrestleMania I have ever watched. I do not like Roman Reigns, It’s fairly clear that I don’t, however him winning is not the sole reason why I hate this Mania, why I cancelled my WWE Network Subscription and why I am going to stop watching Monday night RAW every week.

This was a bad Mania, because it was all sacrificed for Roman Reigns. Every good guy, every single person the crowd liked lost in order to get Roman over.  Everything that happened at this show, was not for WrestleMania, it was for Vince McMahon to finally see his chosen one; Roman Reigns win the Title in the Main Event, and he spent 7 hours trying kill everyone’s spirits in the process.

AJ Styles: Pinned clean by Chris Jericho who really should have given Styles his first Mania victory and free him from this boring, dead feud.

The New Day: Pinned clean by The League of Nations, just so the Legends could come out and beat them up and then dance.

Dean Ambrose and Brock Lesnar: An AWFUL ‘Street Fight’ which is the worst match in Brock’s career since coming back to WWE and it left Dean looking like a geek.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks: Lost to Charlotte, who is honestly uninteresting and the least over of the three in their match.

Shane McMahon: Lost despite it not making any logical sense, nor does it advance the storyline and sets in stone that with the Authority in power WWE will continue to be crap.

The Wyatt’s: Buried beyond belief by the Rock in 6 seconds, and then dug up and buried again by Cena and The Rock. There is no saving them now.

I live in the UK. I stayed up until 5AM to watch this live, on the WWE Network, that I pay for and I have never felt more insulted, or disgusted at this company. WWE, Vince McMahon, they are all so petty that what THEY want is what you will get, no other company in the world does this, no other company says F**k you fans, you take what we give you and you like it- you know why? Because every company that has done that is dead and with no competition to kill them the WWE can do as they please.

This was an absolute travesty, and I would not DARE tell anyone to buy the WWE Network to check this out, I would not even tell someone to pirate this god awful show! The past 2 Mania’s, Vince had to give in to what the fans wanted, inserting Daniel Bryan and allowing him to win in his dream ‘Randy Orton vs. Batista’ main event at WrestleMania 30, at WrestleMania 31; Roman Reigns was denied the Championship against Brock Lesnar, by allowing Seth Rollins to win via the Money in the Bank cash in…

Now we paid for it. Vince was not letting anything stop him from seeing Roman win here tonight. Nothing. He did everything he could to kill everyone’s spirits, get everyone in the arena to kill their voices by booing the god awful booking that killed every single babyface in hopes that Roman Reigns will not be booed in his dream Main Event- but this DID NOT WORK. People still booed, 94,000 people booed thought out a 27 minuet match from start to finish, and in the end, when Roman held his new title up high there were no cheers, there were no tears of happiness from the crowd, only the sound of boo’s echoing through the AT&T stadium at the New Champ.

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